I know we should encourage children to try all foods, but there's one vegetable that I just can't tolerate, so I've written this story in honour of my lifelong dislike. If ever I have kids, I will completely understand if they inherit my inability to eat mushrooms...
I should add that I do like peas, though!
To hear this week's story as a podcast, just click here.
"I Will Never Eat A Mushroom."
"I will never eat a mushroom,"
Jessie said at dinner, one day.
"They're slimy and taste funny,
And when they're cooked, they go all grey."
She leaned against the table.
"I'm sorry Mum and Dad.
But I just can't face another mushroom.
They simply taste too bad."
Her parents sighed and shook their heads.
"They'll grow on you," Mum told her.
"I didn't like them when I was young,
But I love them now I'm older."
Jessie folded her arms across her chest.
"That won't happen for me.
I will never eat another mushroom,
So I don't want them for tea.
I'll eat a bunch of carrots,
broccoli and even sprouts.
But put a mushroom in my mouth
And I'll just spit it out!"
Dad wracked his brains to think
Of a brand new recipe.
"Mushroom soup?" He suggested.
"Or mushroom fricassee?"
"Perhaps we could blend the mushrooms
And make a mushroom mousse?"
Mum's idea wasn't bad,
But it was still no use.
"I'd rather eat a smelly sock,
or nibble the garden gate
Than have a nasty mushroom
Go anywhere near my plate!"
Jessie was determined,
But her parents both were, too.
"How about we cook you up
A tasty mushroom stew?"
Jessie stuck her lip out,
As though she just might cry.
"It really doesn't matter
Whether you bake, or boil or fry.
I will never eat a mushroom,
Not ever again, I swear!
I'd rather pour a bowl of custard
All over my hair."
Mum tutted at her daughter.
"What a silly thing to say.
Besides, we've chopped them up so small,
You won't taste them, anyway."
And in Dad came, with spaghetti bolognaise,
Complete with mushrooms, too.
Jessie toyed with leaving her chair
And locking herself in the loo.
But truth be told, all this talk
made her so hungry, she could eat a horse!
So this fussy eater ate her tea
- picking the mushrooms out, of course.
Later that night, as Mum tucked her in,
Jessie said: "I'm sorry I'm so fussy.
I just can't stand mushrooms.
They're too strange and grey and mushy."
Mum smiled: "At least you tried them,
If you don't like them, do as you please."
Jessie grinned. "Thanks Mum. And in the morning...
...We should probably talk about peas."